Reviewing Escorts since 1999

Client Guide

Escort Guide

Client and Escort Guides

What To Expect & What Not To Expect

Thanks to: Trav'ler, Bill on the Beach and others

What To Expect

  • DO EXPECT her to check your i.d. carefully. She does not want to get busted. Don't be surprised if she asks you to take off pants and shorts to expose your penis. She thinks that will prove you aren't a cop (although it really doesn't). DO expect to feel like a clumsy idiot standing there half-naked!

  • DO EXPECT her to turn and leave if you use any specific words that can lead to her arrest. "Hey, babe, how's about a quick blow job?" will make most escorts leave quickly, both because those words describe an illegal act and because you'd be proving you're a crude dumbass. You can NOT use any such words...at least not until you both have decided you aren't with a cop and are naked. Then you can get more specific.

    These initial moments are tricky. You both share common desires --- you, sex; her, cash --- but you also both share common apprehensions because this is an illegal activity, and for all she knows you're a cop and for all you know she is a cop. My suggestion to you is to let her lead the way here. After all, she's a pro and she knows the drill. To ease the way, you might even smile winsomely and confess this is a first for you. Another way to ease through those awkward moments is to sit next to her and gently touch her arm, slowly to a leg, and let things develop.

    You've probably caught on that these safe-guards are all on her side: she is discovering if you're a cop, but you haven't an equal opportunity to discover if she's one. How to get around that? I suggest you deal with escorts you _know_ have been in business for a goodly length of time (you've seen their webpages for several months or more) and who have been reviewed positively in the various sites.

    I've found that it helps ease her suspicions if I offer to meet her in the parking lot and take her through the lobby up to my room. I do that because if I were an escort, I'd find that trip through the lobby a bit awkward, but I imagine the professionals are used to it. Sometimes I've pointed out my car to show it has out-of-state tags, although I'm not keen on giving away that clue to who I am.

  • DO EXPECT that she may, especially if she's from an agency, phone in to let them know she's there and that things are going well. Also DO EXPECT that she will call after the session is finished to let them know she is OK and leaving for the next session or whatever.

  • DO EXPECT to pay her for her time upfront, of course. The amount varies by region and by escort, but in general it ranges from around $110 (in a place like West Virginia) to $500 or more (in large cities or with one of the "super-stars"). Cash. She won't take your personal check. If she's wise, she also won't take your plastic (that can lead to a bust because it crosses interstate lines). Some will advise you to leave the money lying on the dresser, working on the premise that is less illegal than actually giving it to her. I'm not sure I perceive the distinction, but what the hell. Best course of action is to just place the money on a bedside table or hand directly to her without saying anything. Repeat don't say anything.

  • DO EXPECT that once she has received the fee AND is satisfied you are not a cop (and/or not a crude s.o.b.), that she may go into the bathroom, often telling you to "get comfortable" which means you undress. This is a good time to put on all locks on the motel room door, if you haven't already done so. She'll return from the bathroom naked, or maybe in bra and panties. You can, if this is your thing, tell her that you want to undress her.

  • DO EXPECT her to insist you wear a condom (or rubber, if you prefer that name). If she doesn't insist on that, I'd bail out on the premise she takes way too many risks. She will have one, but I suggest you bring your own, several in case one breaks or whatever. Not one that has a foul taste.

  • DO EXPECT to treat her like a human being, not an object. Offer her a coke or a drink. See what she wants. Hell, be _nice_. In every walk of life and in every profession people who treat others with kindness, compassion and caring generally get better service.

  • DO EXPECT her to treat you professionally. She sees you as a client, not her boyfriend. If you want moon/june romance, stick with a girl-friend. She is a pro and she knows about everything you can possibly suggest, so she'll do those things. Not ALL of those things. Most escorts will not accept anal sex ("Greek"), for example. But she will be ready for you to want oral sex ("French") or to put your penis between her breasts ("Russian") and such.

  • DO EXPECT her to be ready to leave after you've climaxed once. If you are lucky and connect with a quality, professional escort she may well offer a second climax OR she may stay the remainder of the hour and offer to massage your back or just to chit-chat. Consider a "second chance" OR filling out the hour to be a bonus.

  • DO EXPECT to let her know you appreciated the session, verbally and perhaps financially, if you feel so inclined. A tip, though not always expected is ALWAYS appreciated! Doesn't have to be a huge tip, I typically tip from $20-$50 for a one hour session. More for longer sessions or "extra-special" service.

What Not To Expect

  • DO NOT EXPECT anything without a condom. Plain common sense!

  • DO NOT EXPECT to perform oral sex on her. Many escorts don't like that.

  • DO NOT EXPECT deep kisses. Most escorts hate that, and besides, she's not your girl-friend you're trying to seduce.

  • DO NOT EXPECT to insert your fingers in her pussy. That hurts.

  • DO NOT EXPECT "Greek" or anal sex, unless she specifically mentions or advertises such a specialty. If available, it will generally be expected that you may pay an additional fee for the "extra" time.

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